Masters National Championship TT 35-39

I rushed to write this after the race and before the podium ceremony yesterday. I ran out of time. Today I don’t want to revise it. It’s not just a race report but my overall and immediate post race feelings. I want to preserve that. I apologize in advance for the errors.

When I started racing twenty years ago I dreamed about becoming a national champion. I didn’t even care in which race. I raced juniors against guys like Tejay van Garderen so right off the bat that wasn’t going work out for me. My junior year at collegiate nationals I made it onto the podium. The following year I had an emergency appendectomy the week of the race and wasn’t able to go. I went to amateur nationals a handful of times and got as high as top ten but the best guys were always a solid level above me. For a long time I knew I would probably have to play the long game and wait until I was a master.

I finally made it but it wasn’t a smooth road. Like most of us athletes I’ve had a bit of a mental health roller coaster ride with some small peaks and some big valleys that almost made me quit racing. A few years ago I had a deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism which put racing in serious danger. The pandemic, being furloughed in my line of work, and the regular stuff we all go through made me reach a breaking point. Luckily it was a positive one. I took a much deeper dive into Stoicism and it completely changed my mindset. People think that Stoics are emotionless Mr. Spocks but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Stoicism is about managing, not eliminating, negative emotions so that they don’t get in the way of living a fulfilling life. Cognitive behavioral therapy, the most effective evidence based therapy, has its roots in Stoicism. I’ve listened to so many great athletes and wondered if they knew they were speaking in Stoic principles. I wouldn’t be here without it and I’m very grateful for it.

This racing year was not the smoothest one for me. I had two work related injuries that delayed my preparation at the start of the year. It meant that I had to rush my preparation in the spring for the Raas Tailteann race in Ireland. I showed up very undercooked and in stage one I felt a pop and the sudden pain of a slight tear or pull in my quad. On my way back home I picked up a stomach virus and lost fifteen pounds while in bed for seven days straight. Luckily with my delayed preparation that just meant that I ended up at my usual race weight! After I recovered from the stomach bug I thought about a realistic timeline to get back into good shape. I had about eleven weeks until the Masters National Championships. I wasn’t sure if I could recover from my quad pull/tear in time. Moments like these are where my philosophy and pulmonary embolism really help me. In the past I may have given up before even trying or maybe been so overwhelmed that it at least delayed starting. Just after I had my pulmonary embolism I was on the floor with my leg elevated after one of my first rides. It was blue and swollen. My watts were so low. I had tears in my eyes and I was feeling sorry for myself. In that moment a switch went off and I said to myself that my diagnosis was going to have to prove to me that it could stop me. Every single day after that I got to work, no matter how slow, and eventually got back to my best. Eleven weeks ago when my quad was hurting I knew that, that too, would have to prove it could stop me.

I am no sage and I need a lot of help. Two people in particular have kept me on the right path these past few months, and beyond. The first is one of my best friends Kristen Kulchinsky. When she heard about my quad she immediately without asking scheduled me a bunch of appointments at the Recovery Room and told me I was going. The second is my other best friend Brian Spagnoletti. I have coffee often with Brian and he is my mentor. He makes sure that I’m not just reading my philosophy but doing my best to put it into practice as well. I’m grateful for them both and I am a better person because of them.

I followed my therapist Christina’s plan and slowly increased the amount of work I was doing on the bike and in the gym for my quad. My fitness started to come back as well. Fitness is one side of the coin for time trialing. The other is aerodynamics. Ten years ago I raced The Josh Billings Runaground against Dean Phillips of Fitwerx. I learned so much about aerodynamics, including the Chung Method, from Dean. One of his posts said that over the years he had been able to increase his time trial speed by miles per hour without putting any more watts out. After some time I have also noticed higher speeds with the same power. Today I won by just twenty one seconds to someone who is physiologically stronger than me. I wouldn’t have won without Dean. I only met him at that race ten years ago and didn’t keep in touch. I think my favorite thing at the race today was bumping into him after the finish to tell him how much he has helped me. I felt like a kid meeting my professional sports hero. I was most impressed with his humility. Thank you Dean!

So for eleven weeks I healed, gained fitness, and Chung Method-ed. Upon looking at the start list I noticed the strongest competitor, Scott, was going to start thirty seconds behind me. I would have preferred to start behind him! But you have to make the best of what’s given to you in life. Scott is one of the best Zwift racers on the planet and physiologically so strong. From previous race results I was hoping I was more aerodynamic because that would be my only chance. I knew I would have to hold a perfect position the entire race. In my warm up I made sure my hips were rotated so my back was as flat as possible. I shrugged my shoulders up to narrow them. I thought about being a snapping turtle reaching my head out of its shell. I yelled out loud “gulp, gulp, gulp” like I was Pac Man and laughed at how crazy people probably thought I was.

I knew my only enemy would be the heat. I used a lot of ice in the ice socks, didn’t use booties, and took the soles out of my shoes (there are open vents in the soles). I thought the right pacing strategy could help with the heat as well. The course was constantly slightly up and slightly down. Usually putting out more power on the uphill and less on the downhill would yield the highest speed but I decided to steer clear of this for the first half until the turnaround. I had a feeling if I spiked my power I would heat up a lot faster. I tried to keep my subjective pace as even as I could (I decided to not be able to see my computer and just shoved it up my pant leg). I learned this pacing strategy from Filippo Ganna during his hour record. He started out easier and finished harder in part to make sure he didn’t overheat early. The bigger guys heat up fast!

When I hit the turnaround I estimated I was even on time with Scott. It was time to see if my pacing strategy would pay off.

On the way back I gave myself permission to push a little harder on the uphills. At one point I couldn’t help but turn around to see how much distance I had. I swear with a third of the race to go I had only fifteen seconds. Maybe it wasn’t Scott but someone else I had recently passed? Nevertheless, the voice in my head thought “Well this is it. At this rate he will catch me.” In the past maybe I would’ve given up or it would’ve slowed me but instead this time I responded, “all you can do is hold your rhythm.” If someone is going to catch you, make them earn it. Thank you pulmonary embolism mindset.

I kept riding and not long after I saw that there was a much bigger gap than before. Things were looking up so I just held my position and kicked it in to the finish. It felt like I paced my race it perfectly. I held my position the entire time. I didn’t feel like I had any more to give.

Later on looking at the Strava my average power on the way out was 408 watts and the way back was 393. I would expect the more surging style of the way back to average fewer watts so I don’t think I slowed down very much at all. I checked the Strava of a bunch of other riders and saw some averaged forty to fifty watts less on the way back so I was very pleased. The heat didn’t slow me down this time.

Nowadays I don’t really care so much for some things that I used to. Like results. For example, Dean is a world champion but I think his humility is more impressive and important. Still, winning this national championship does feel like a bookend to that part of my life. An ultimate goal made by my former self. I think today will finally help me let go of a lot of things. I will still try to achieve results but it’s not the most important part of the process for me anymore. This result isn’t an end point. I will wake up tomorrow and continue because that’s what I love most now. Even if I did care more about results I truly believe this is a better way of thinking to keep getting results but eliminating the peaks and valleys that I used to have. I’m grateful for the people I’ve known, my friends, family, and teammates for their patience and help.