Cognitive Distortions

In the previous post I wrote about self talk after losing a race, something that is topical for me after my recent second place at Masters Nationals. It is possible after a bad race to have thoughts like “I feel like I’ll never win.” I think we could all agree that it’s always possible to win a race, especially the longer we keep trying. When we start to believe something that we logically know to be untrue we could be experiencing something the psychology world calls cognitive distortion. One definition of cognitive distortion is “an exaggerated or irrational thought pattern involved in the onset or perpetuation of psychopathological states, such as depression and anxiety. Cognitive distortions are thoughts that cause individuals to perceive reality inaccurately.” These thoughts can become self fulfilling prophecies.

What’s interesting is that it seems that we fall prey to cognitive distortions a lot more when we are talking to ourselves compared to someone else. If a friend had a bad race and they said they felt like they would never have a good one would you agree with them or would you try to lift their spirits? It turns out that we are usually way more compassionate towards others than ourselves. Our ability to accurately analyze someone else’s situation is also often more accurate. We seem to see the path forward for them.

One technique modern psychology suggests to combat this phenomenon is journaling in the third person. When we journal in the third person we look at our life and situations from an outsider’s perspective. We see ourselves more like we see our friends. We can be more compassionate and objective to our own circumstances. When we do that we can start to better see our own path forward.

Marcus Aurelius and the Stoics knew this two millennia ago. In Meditations, Aurelius’ now published personal journal, he wrote:

“Nothing is so conducive to spiritual growth as this capacity for logical and accurate analysis of everything that happens to us.”

Meditations is full of third person writing. Some believe that he started journaling later in life when all of his mentors had passed. He knew how important it was to see reality as accurately as possible and that taking an outside perspective and a view from above was the best way he had to do that when his trusted mentors were no longer there.

Next time you start talking to yourself in ways you wouldn’t talk to a friend grab a pen.