I made a prosperous voyage when I was shipwrecked.

In my life I have experienced so much fear and anxiety. What if I ask a stupid question and people laugh at me? What if I mess the interview up and don’t get the job? What if she rejects me? What if I fail this workout? What if I don’t get a good result in the race? It always boils down to what if the outcome is something I don’t prefer?

I’m continually learning there are a lot of things that can happen if those fears come true. The very first thing is likely to be an emotion. One definition of emotion is a sensation that arises in the body. Embarrassment or anger, as emotions, could make your cheeks blush and your heart rate/blood pressure change. Emotions are a normal, uncontrollable physiological response for a human being. They are coming anyway so we should let them come and go as they please. Emotions are never a problem. We can expect emotion to arrive shortly after the stimulus and to follow right behind the stimulus out the door.

One thing that makes human beings unique is the ability to think about an emotion. This thinking can either leave the door open for them to leave or close the door and make them stay. Some define this lingering of emotion as a feeling. “I feel disappointed I lost the race. I lose so much. I feel like I’ll never win.” Feel this way long enough and it will change your mood. A negative mood will make you doubt things are possible. You might begin going through the motions. You’re more likely to miss a workout or two. You will stop trying to find solutions since you subconsciously believe it won’t work out any way. I don’t need to convince anyone that a negative mood will make it harder to get what you want.

We have some control over how we think about emotion. This is what the Stoics came to realize thousands of years ago and what some modern day therapy teaches. Some people are so stuck in their moods that they don’t realize how much power they have over their thoughts. Their thought patterns just go into autopilot. It is possible to turn this autopilot down or even completely off. Almost every single person we have ever looked up to for their achievements knew this. Wayne Gretzky would say the more shots we take the more likely we are to score. Michael Jordan said he missed nine thousand shots in his life but that is why he succeeded. Shooters shoot and that is why they score. They found a way of thinking that didn’t allow fear and anxiety to get in their way by accepting the possibility of failure.

It took a long time for me to be open to this idea. I’m still only a beginner. I had my “aha” moment when I read about Zeno. Zeno was a merchant a few thousand years ago in Athens. One day his ship sank and he lost everything. After washing up to shore he went into a bookstore and started to read about Socrates, the wisest person to ever live. Here he was in this moment after losing everything. Imagine the emotion that must’ve been present? Imagine all the directions his life could’ve gone? I wish I could ask him exactly what he was thinking in that moment. It must have been something positive because he looked up and asked the bookstore employee where he could find a philosopher. The employee pointed out the window at Crates, a Cynic philosopher, who happened to be walking by. Crates became Zeno’s teacher. Eventually Zeno founded his own philosophy that would later be called Stoicism.

I’ve heard experts say that Stoicism is Buddhism’s cousin. It was the inspiration for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Religion borrowed heavily from it. Sometimes they just replaced the Stoic term “nature” with “God.” When I listen to the greatest athletes speak, whether they know it or not, they are speaking Stoic principles. This idea of thinking about emotion is a Stoic idea.

Stoicism has helped me tremendously in my life. Selfishly, I am so grateful Zeno’s ship sank. If it hadn’t he would’ve continued trading and the world may have never benefited from this philosophy. He was also grateful. He said, “I made a prosperous voyage when I was shipwrecked.” Losing his ship must’ve been one of, if not the worst things to have happened to him up to that point in his life. His response however, turned it into the best thing to ever happen to him.

So what if the outcome isn’t preferable? First, I will feel an uncomfortable emotion. When that subsides I will think about my next step. It might be my first step to something great? That doesn’t seem like anything to be afraid of.